Hilmar Alquiros


The Last Comedian



Once upon a time, in the small town of Chuckleville, there lived a comedian named Jester Johnson. Jester was known far and wide as the funniest comedian of all time. He had a knack for telling the most hilarious jokes that could make anyone laugh, from a giggling toddler to a grumpy grandpa.


 Every weekend, Jester performed at the town's comedy club, The Chuckle Hut. The club was always packed to the brim with fans eager to hear his latest jokes. He knew in his heart that this was going to be an extraordinary, decisive, even historic night.


 Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! - The crowd erupted in laughter, and Jester knew he had them in the palm of his hand. He needed the feeling of appreciation that he could suck from the laughter of his fellow man for brief moments at a time.


 “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! - The audience roared, and Jester fed off their energy. He could see people wiping tears from their eyes, their faces contorted with laughter. But Jester wasn't done yet!


 Have you ever noticed how marriage is like a deck of cards? You start with two hearts and a diamond, but by the end, you just want a club and a spade!” -  Jester noticed a man in the front row trying to catch his breath. Many a heart he warmed on that starry night.


 “Hey, buddy! he said, pointing at the man. You know why the scarecrow won an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! - The man's laughter turned into a full-on belly laugh, causing his friends to join in.


 What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? he asked. The room went silent, waiting for the punchline. Snowballs! Jester exclaimed, and the room exploded in laughter once again. Laughter, this magical power to free the heart. Even on his deathbed, his father had asked him to give him moments of liberation with the best punch lines!


 As the evening went on, Jester's jokes became even more hilarious, and the audience couldn't get enough. He told one joke after another, leaving the crowd gasping for air between fits of laughter. Rumors had it that Jester's jokes once caused a star to twinkle a bit brighter.


 Then, Jester decided to try something new. He wanted to challenge himself and create a joke that would top all others – one with a punchline so surprising that it would be remembered for generations to come...


 He approached the microphone and said, Ladies and gentlemen, I've got a brand-new joke for you tonight. But this one is a bit different. You see, I'm going to tell the punchline first, and then I'll reveal the joke. Are you ready? The audience cheered, excited by the unexpected twist. “Can a joke move the world?” he thought to himself. He had the strange feeling that a consciousness was entering his brain from the outside.


 Alright, Jester said, grinning. The punchline is: 'Yes, two half-sisters!' - The audience looked confused, but they trusted Jester's comedic genius.

 Jester took a deep breath, and with his trademark mischievous grin, he continued, Now for the actual joke: a magician who saws up a woman on stage is asked, 'wow, do you have any siblings?'” - The room erupted in laughter, louder than ever, and seemed to resonate through endless dimensions.


 The strange feeling of a consciousness creeping into his cerebral convolutions from the outside became irresistible. And exactly at this very moment the entire universe finished its expansion, which made it grow outrageously since the Big Bang!

 The entire cosmos paused for a moment as the long-awaited sign appeared, penetrating from spirit into matter. The universe cleared its throat a little, audible in all the galaxies, and space began to shrink again.


 It began the return journey faster and faster into a hilarious tiny point with dimension zero but maximum energy - for the next even bigger bang, with its inevitable evolution - which would reach its critical climax and turning point again and again with the most hilarious comedian and exactly when this kind of reverse joke first appeared....


© by Hilmar Alquiros, The Philippines  Impressum Data Protection Statement / Datenschutzerklärung